Just like any relationship, maintaining a friendship can be a lot of work. It requires patience, compassion, forgiveness and respect. Some friendships will last a lifetime while others only last a season. Sometimes you don’t even realize who your real friends are until something big happens in your life—good or bad.
For me it was when I got engaged. My best friend at the time just completely flipped the script. There was no big blow up, no argument. It just became clear that she was not team Simone during a very important moment in my life. (And in case you’re thinking it, no I was not a bridezilla!) So we talked about it and in the end I made the decision to remove her from the wedding party. I still invited her to the wedding but she declined. And that was it. We weren’t friends anymore.
I’ve had other friends where nothing happened—again, no blow up, no argument. But being friends with them was just heavy. Like just heavy energy. They ALWAYS had something going on with them. Not an isolated incident. Like deep stuff all the time. I found myself stressed out and worried as I started taking on the burden of their troubles. I was stressed out and worried about them. And I could never talk about me or what was going on with me. Every conversation was always about them and their drama. And then one day it occurred to me. They never even asked about me or how I was doing! So I had to let them go. It doesn’t necessarily mean I don’t speak to them anymore. I just had to realize where and how they would fit into my life moving forward.
Now once you get past all that, there is nothing like having the love and support of your girl squad. That amazing group of women who have your back no matter what. Through thick and thin, up and down, they are always there to hold you up. I thought about the many personalities that make up my sister circle and came up with a list of 13 types of friends that every woman should have. Keep in mind that some of these roles can be filled by the same person.
13 Types Friends Every Woman Should Have
1. A mom friend
Your mom friend is usually someone you’ve met in your mommy travels—at the park, at Mommy & Me class, at daycare or school—places where you are more likely to be socializing with your child. She understands your struggles as a mom and is there for you. You share advice, compare tantrums, and she’s probably one of the few people you can talk poop color and consistency with! She’ll take the kids to give you a break when you need it. And of course you do the same for her.
2. A friend to confide in
This is probably your bestie, your BFF, your true partner in crime. She knows where all the bones are buried and you never have to worry about her telling a soul. She’s always there to listen and she never judges you. I say this is probably your bestie because sometimes it’s not. It’s weird but sometimes it can be easier to tell your secrets to someone who you’re not that close to.
3. A cheerleader friend
This friend has amazing energy! She is always on your team and genuinely wants you to win at whatever you do. She shows up at every event you have, she buys one of whatever you’re selling, and she even sings your praises when you’re not in the room. You can share one of your craziest ideas with her and she’ll jump right in and give you even more ideas and advice on how to make it work. She gives you that boost of confidence that makes you believe you can really do anything.
4. An honest friend
Do not ask her a question if you don’t really want the answer cuz she is gonna give it to you straight! She can see through your mess and will not hesitate to call you on it. But you love her because she’s like your compass. Whether your outfit or your love life, you can trust that she will never guide you in the wrong direction. There is nothing phony about her. And no matter how hard it is to hear the truth, you know that she does it with love.
5. A work friend
There is nothing like a good friend at work to help you get through the day. She makes sure you know what bs is coming down the pike and she always has your back in meeting when they try to come for you. She brings you snacks, she makes sure you eat lunch and she always saves you a piece of cake from the office birthday party. But the biggest bonus of having a friend at work is that she’s one of few people you can talk to who totally understands the crazy people you deal with at your job.
6. A neighbor friend
So last year, my family was away on vacation and I got a call that my alarm was going off. Then the person on the phone proceeds to tell me that they cannot send the police to my house because I don’t have a certificate on file (which I totally did by the way)! So he tells me I should call the non-emergency number to the police department. I call them and they won’t come either. So I had to call a friend who lived about 45 minutes away to come and check the house. You know why? Because I didn’t have a neighbor friend! I’m not saying you have to be besties, but having someone who can get your mail, keep an eye on your house and help you out in a pinch is sooo necessary. We have since moved and yes that was part of the reason. And I am currently in the market for a neighbor to fill this slot.
7. A funny friend
I love a friend who gets all my sarcasm, and keeps me laughing! She knows that a well-timed joke can take the tension right out the room. No matter what is going on in your life, what situation you are facing, or how serious it is, she will always find a way to make you laugh. And you need that.
8. A spiritual friend
Everybody needs that one friend who can recite the bible back to front. You can trust that she will have an uplifting bible verse to quote for just about any circumstance good or bad. She will pray for you, your family, and anyone else you ask her to. As a matter of fact, she is always praying for you, even when you don’t know it.
9. A smart friend
She knows a little something about everything. And if she doesn’t know it, she will guide you the right place to get the answer. She can sometimes play the role of life coach too. She’s your sounding board when you’re struggling with your career or other life decisions. After you talk to her, you always feel energized and like you are on the right path.
10. A friend who inspires you
She walks in a room and just has this way of connecting with people and building relationships. She donates her money and her time to support causes near to her heart. You admire her commitment to the community and her determination to make a difference in the world. She makes you want to be a better person.
11. An adventurous friend
She’s always up for a challenge and she lives life unapologetically. She pushes you out of your comfort zone and makes you explore new places and try new things. She’s fun, free-spirited, and her fearlessness reminds you that you are badass enough to anything you want to do.
12. A creative friend
She crafts, she cooks, she sews, and she has a life hack for just about everything. You can always count on her to give you suggestions for everything from a recipe for tonight’s dinner to the perfect gift idea for your boss. She’s like your personal Martha Stewart.
13. A friend in your head
Normally when people say “friend in my head” they usually mean a celebrity or some public figure who they can see themselves being friends with. But in this case, I mean the best version of YOU in your head. The person who shuts down your negative mental chatter and reminds you not to say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to someone else. We know how mean it is to call someone ugly or stupid, yet we say these kinds of things to ourselves all the time. This friend is there to make you remember that as Viola Davis said in The Help, you is smart, you is kind, you is important.
Did I miss any? What other types of friends does a woman need to have in her sister circle?